Misc.

April Fools’ Resolutions

So my roommate forc…I mean…asked me to write a blog.  Since this is his birthday week, I have to be extra extra nice to him (since I am regularly already extra nice to him).  So no, this will not be a blog about how crazy he is and the crazy things he does and says. Like what he just said to me in the last 5 minutes:

• “Today I read *insert bad article* on Yahoo News and it said *insert erroneous/irrelevant fact*” 
• “People are reading my blog but why didn’t people LIKE it?  Alex, did you read my blog?  No you didn’t. Why didn’t you LIKE it?” 
• “My hair is too long…Alex, why you aren’t saying anything? You need to respond faster.”

—

1.  Be an even nicer and better roommate.  I haven’t been cleaning the bathroom and washing the dishes nearly enough.

2.  Give one affirmation a day to my roommate: “No, your hair does look good.”  ”Yes, you are right, she does sound just like Norah Jones!”

3.  Eat more to lose my muscle-toned body so a certain person around me will feel better about himself.

4.  Try to pay attention when my roommate talks, and not zone out like I usually do.  Or at least make my “uh huh’s” sound a little bit more sincerely.

5.  Indulge him in his Vegas delusions:  Luxor IS definitely the best hotel I ever stayed in, and if I have ever mentioned that I found mold in the room there, that was not true and it was just me being a liar. 

6.  Not expose his crazies.  Like that one night where he woke me up and *%#$**# #*$$#$ @@#&#  ##*!##&.

But seriously, I have to give real birthday shout out to the best roommate I ever had!  Happy early birthday to my big brother Shawn!  It’s 4 months early but you have always been the best roommate ever!    

Grinding Cupid’s Adam

Was reading another article today about the prevalent racism that still exist especially in my community.

If I were to ever make a profile on those dating websites/apps, I would definitely write NO WHITES!!!  in angry cap letters.

Just saying.

I have no problem with any other ethnicity.  I only have a problem with the ones that have a problem with me.  Although if you would have to categorized me, I guess I would fall under the term “sticky”.  But I’m actually pretty proud of that. :)

Someone Like You

Roommate Shmeric: What do think about “Someone Like You”?

Alex: I like the song, but it is pretty dumb.  Why would you want “someone like” the person who dumped you and moved on and has a better life? I would want someone that is opposite if anything to spite the person before.  The song is so needy, ugh, just as bad as when Jennifer Hudson sang “And I’m Telling You” from Dreamgirls.

Roommate Shmeric:…you would think that.

Dear you

Dear you,

Yes, you.  You know who you are.  Oh, a notification from my phone! Someone just liked my facebook status!  Wait, it is just you…again.  Let’s face it.  You are a LIKE slut.  You LIKE so so sluttily.  There was once upon a time were people would only LIKE statuses that were funny, thoughtful, or interesting.  But you, you LIKE so promiscuously it sickens me.  You know, when you give out your LIKES so easily, no one will want it anymore.  I surely don’t.  Yes, people probably thinks you are easy now.  And when I barely post something and you LIKED it in 2 seconds, it makes me feel (sob)…like you don’t even mean it (sob)!  Maybe this is a phase…I know many people who went through a slutty LIKE phase (usually around college although I didn’t).  But to let you know, until you amend your ways and walk a different path, your LIKES will no longer mean anything to me anymore…

Sincerely,

Me 

Fashion by the transitive property

Homeless or hipster? + hipster or gay? = homeless or gay???